On the streets of Blogopolis

I really need to get away from the death of Peter Parker before it threatens to consume me like...well, like a consumable thing that's been consumed. First, a new red-blue-yellow color scheme, in honor of comic' four-color roots (which, since this was a rush dye job, the roots remain black, the fourth color, get it? Get it?).

There must be some other burning (ha! I kill me) questions that need addressing. Or burning. Or something.

For instance, does Superman poo? When John Byrne rebooted him, he addressed it specifically: No, he doesn't. The exact mechanism by which he doesn't, though, doesn't really withstand close examination, which is a phrase that makes me uneasy coming this close to Super-poop.

As Ranma 1/2's creator said when asked what would happen if the gender-switching martial artist got pregnant: "I try not to think about things like that...and you shouldn't either."

Many of Cracked.com's lists are entertaining, but many of them are flawed. Their 10 Best Animated Movies for (Traumatizing) Kids is more about traumatizing adults than kids, really. But some of them I get. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, because Batman, ultimately, loses: That I get. The Incredibles, because some of the bad guys actually die? Not so much.

Watership Down I really get. Those damn bunnies are terrifying.

Scipio of The Absorbascon asks, What are the anachronisms and anachronoslides* that bother you most in your comics, and what would you do to remedy them? (* An "anachronoslide" is an historical reference that wasn't an anachronism when the comic was published, but becomes one later as the character's lifeline "slides" forward to keep him at a constant age in his "current" adventures.)

This is a great question, and I've got a number of "favorites" (if I don't "overdose" on "quotation marks" first), but first I have to consider this: This is the kind of question that only comes up in comic books. Nobody ever asks why Daniel Craig is so young when the character he's portraying first appeared in 1952. But I guess a septugenarian James Bond might be iffy. (Or not. Sean Connery is 77 years old, and still quite fit.)

(See, if James Bond were a comic book, we'd be reading about a perky blonde who might or might not be his granddaughter, named Jasmine "Jazzy" Bond. The "Danger Girl" people are missing a bet.)

Oh, look, the Miracleman Countdown Clock, indicating that the final published issue of Alan Moore's / Neil Gaiman's "Miracleman" will enter the public domain in 2089. Which is probably still sooner than those who are currently fighting over the rights to the character will settle the question.

Meanwhile...

If I were Say It Backwards, I'd put this image in my blog header.

Occasional Superheroine presents some Hot Comic Book Action. I see "Smallville" is going back to the basics: Women without pants. I take it this Kara isn't supposed to be underage.

Then OS talks about Weddingus Interruptus with Dead Arrow. Who, come on, you know he isn't dead. He's getting a "Year One"! And I must be the only reader who isn't that fond of Amanda Conner's art. I mean, it's OK, but everybody else is raving about the wonderfully emotive faces, but to me, everybody just looks drunk. Which, I guess, is appropriate at a wedding reception, but Power Girl looked drunk in her mini, too.

Dave Ex Machina presents clothing for the discerning geek. I could have sworn I saw these shirts at DragonCon.

Rachelle at Living Between Wednesdays wants to hear some cheery stories about people for whom their mutual love of comic books helped them bond. I don't have one, so if you do, you know what to do.

HarperCollins to reprint Scott McCloud's ZOT! for July 2008. If I'm reading this right, it's not complete: It's collecting only the material first published in black and white.

Major Spoilers presents an iconic image from All-Star The Goddamn Batman.

Devon at Seven Hells takes this opportunity to re-examine major DC events of the past twenty years and see how the new characters introduced in these events are doing. He's a lot kinder than I would be.

• Pariah - dead
  
• Lady Quark - dead? (Hey, maybe her Earth is back!)
  
• Harbinger - dead
  
• Question - dead
• Blue Beetle - dead
• Captain Atom - retconned beyond all recognition
• Nightshade - I thought you said "major characters"? Well, retconned beyond recognition anyway.
  
• Peacemaker - retconned beyond recognition
  
• Son of Vulcan - who?
• Wildcat II - dead
• Flash III (Wally West) - still doing OK, I guess... (does he really count as a creation of "Legends"?)
  
• Vril Dox and L.E.G.I.O.N. - yawn
• Monarch I - dead
• All of the "Bloodlines" characters - yawn, with the possible exception of Hitman
• Starman (Jack Knight) - dead?
• Stargirl - so far, so good
• Neron - yawn
• Hourman 1,000,000 - dead

I have to say DC's character creation skills don't look good here. When Firestorm looks like an elder statesman, something is wrong.

On the Streets of Blogopolis

Living Between Wednesdays found this panel of Lois Lane in her natural state, being made a fool of by Superman (who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild- mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, must have a good laugh at her expense almost every hour of the day).

Dragon*Con Podcasting - Podcasting in the Classroom: This panel featured three educators who are creating educational podcasts, and my wife who is skeptical that the thing can have any applications for, how shall I say it, neighborhoods that are less affluent.

Yes, I know it has nothing to do with comic books. So?

Occasional Superheroine has a positive review of The Justice League of America Wedding Special. I really wanted to like this book, and I generally enjoy Dwayne McDuffie's writing (having seen a lot of it on the television JLU). But unlike the Wedding Planner, which actually was about planning the wedding, the Wedding Special is all about setting up this version of the Legion of Doom. I probably shouldn't blame McDuffie for that, since most DC titles seem primarily motivated by editorial mandate these days.

OS isn't crazy about the cover, and I actually agree. Although, given that Ed Benes is drawing it, it's not much of a surprise, is it? The spectacle of Superman bursting out of the cake at the bachelorette party is overcome by the fact that he's the most modestly-dressed person in attendance. Wonder Woman's star-spangled panties are approaching thongness. Any issue now there won't be room for any stars at all.

Progressive Ruin is speculating that Joe Quesada is incessantly repeating "people hate married Spider-Man" in order to make it so. Perhaps Marvel already has the "Because you demanded it!" blurb ready (the smart money seems to say this will happen in "One More Day").
Based on talking to customers in his comic shop (you know, people who actually buy comic books and, like, read them), Mike is unable to identify any groundswell of resentment that Pete and MJ are married. I'm thinking that, in the Marvel offices, the E-I-C and the writers he selects must really think that marriage is a dead end, which is a bigger tragedy than anything they put the characters through.

Seven Hells celebrates the return of the splash page. I think he's missing the point. A splash page is a single-panel summary of the story you're about to read, in tone and personality if not in literal representation of events actually contained in the story. These days, splash pages are places for the artist to show off (not that I mind that: some of my favorite images are the "pin-up pages" of days gone by). The intent is to actually slow down the story, to postpone the introduction of elements the reader might not want to be spoiled by, in full awareness that the first four or five pages of any given issue are likely to be released days, weeks or months in advance of publication, as a preview.

That said, this is still a dandy image, and the one aspect of it that I do see as a Good Sign is that Cassie's costume does not contain a camel-toe crotch seam. If I were looking for one trend to ban from 21st-century comics, that would be a strong contender.

On the Streets of Blogopolis

cosplayahoy

Progressive Ruin: I need to amend the store's dress code. He's got a hot redhead in his comic book shop, and he's complaining because she's dressed as Ginny Weasley. Can't he just be thankful she's there at all?

postmodernbarney: And Then There Was That Time Betty Got Kidnapped By Hillbillies. Or, Deliverance II starring Archie.

Occasional Superheroine: Schoolgirl Witchblade. Reserve a place on your knocker knick-knack shelf now, right beside your McFarlane Twisted X-mas Mrs Claus.

Batfatty: presenting Roberta the Girl Wonder. I really want to see the rest of this story. In fact, I'd like to see all of the stories from this era that featured one-shot female knock-offs of the male hero. I've seen the Aquaman, Green Arrow and Superboy stories. The original Batwoman was arguably one of the lot, except that she sort-of caught on. (The first Bat-Girl stole Roberta's color scheme.) So would have been the Super-Girl that Jimmy Olsen wished into existence. I suppose any of the several occasions when Lois Lane became "Super-Woman" might also qualify. I'd include the "Super-Sister" story, in which young Clark Kent became a girl. Are there enough of these for a trade collection? What would you call it?

Living Between Wednesdays: Snuggles in Disguise. Awwww.

Stephen DiStefano: The difference between Brutus and Bluto

Around Blogopolis

Confidence

A dated but still interesting biography of William Marston, creator of Wonder Woman. And an overview of the character from the Comic Book Periodic Table.

In a sweeping example of what passes for feminism in comics, the Big Three Superteams of DC Comics (Justice League, Justice Society, and Legion) are all being led by women. Even though nothing in any of these characters' backstories has indicated that they actually qualify for the position. Black Canary, in particular, just left the Birds of Prey with the stated purpose of spending more time mothering her newly adopted daughter Sin, and now here she is allegedly bossing Batman around. At least over in the Marvel universe, where Janet van Dyne leads the Mighty Avengers, it doesn't seem quite so much like they pulled her name out of a hat.

Over in Lady, That's My Skull, Sleestak offers what should be the final word on the Showcase Presents Batgirl cover controversy.

According to Occasional Superheroine, DC is facing a Countdown to Change that may mean the end of the Didio era. At Journalista, Dirk Deppey writes an overall favorable mention of the post that ignites a feminist firestorm with one ill-conceived, largely misunderstood joke.

(Look: I find Occasional Superheroine to be a thoughtful, sometimes moving blog, well worth the read from the first post in the archive. But at the same time, in this particular post she does repeatedly use the word "c**k-up", complete with self-aware, self-censoring asterisks. It might be insulting to suggest even jokingly, as Deppey does, that she suffers from "fear of c**k". But what if he meant fear of the word? Isn't that what censoring it implies?)

(See also Pretty Fizzy Paradise and the Comics Reporter.)

Just to lighten the mood a little, Devon at Seven Hells presents Subtext Follies featuring Wonder Woman.

What Were They Thinking asks, what kind of student sends a photo like this to their old teacher?

And Jimmy Olsen's Blues presents a review of the recent death of Bart Allen and return of Wally West, by... Bart Allen.