Tuesday, January 08, 2008

On the streets of Blogopolis

I really need to get away from the death of Peter Parker before it threatens to consume me like...well, like a consumable thing that's been consumed. First, a new red-blue-yellow color scheme, in honor of comic' four-color roots (which, since this was a rush dye job, the roots remain black, the fourth color, get it? Get it?).

There must be some other burning (ha! I kill me) questions that need addressing. Or burning. Or something.

For instance, does Superman poo? When John Byrne rebooted him, he addressed it specifically: No, he doesn't. The exact mechanism by which he doesn't, though, doesn't really withstand close examination, which is a phrase that makes me uneasy coming this close to Super-poop.

As Ranma 1/2's creator said when asked what would happen if the gender-switching martial artist got pregnant: "I try not to think about things like that...and you shouldn't either."

Many of Cracked.com's lists are entertaining, but many of them are flawed. Their 10 Best Animated Movies for (Traumatizing) Kids is more about traumatizing adults than kids, really. But some of them I get. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, because Batman, ultimately, loses: That I get. The Incredibles, because some of the bad guys actually die? Not so much.

Watership Down I really get. Those damn bunnies are terrifying.

Scipio of The Absorbascon asks, What are the anachronisms and anachronoslides* that bother you most in your comics, and what would you do to remedy them? (* An "anachronoslide" is an historical reference that wasn't an anachronism when the comic was published, but becomes one later as the character's lifeline "slides" forward to keep him at a constant age in his "current" adventures.)

This is a great question, and I've got a number of "favorites" (if I don't "overdose" on "quotation marks" first), but first I have to consider this: This is the kind of question that only comes up in comic books. Nobody ever asks why Daniel Craig is so young when the character he's portraying first appeared in 1952. But I guess a septugenarian James Bond might be iffy. (Or not. Sean Connery is 77 years old, and still quite fit.)

(See, if James Bond were a comic book, we'd be reading about a perky blonde who might or might not be his granddaughter, named Jasmine "Jazzy" Bond. The "Danger Girl" people are missing a bet.)

Oh, look, the Miracleman Countdown Clock, indicating that the final published issue of Alan Moore's / Neil Gaiman's "Miracleman" will enter the public domain in 2089. Which is probably still sooner than those who are currently fighting over the rights to the character will settle the question.

No comments: