Perhaps the headline doesn't lend the event the dignity it deserves. But let us not weep over the not-a-hoax not-a-dream death of Peter Parker in Amazing Spider-Man #545.
Instead, let us celebrate 45 years of great storytelling featuring everyone's favorite Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man...
Well, we can't in good conscience include One More Day, can we? Okay, that still leaves 44 and a half years of...
What? Oh, yeah. The story began with Back in Black, didn't it? Still, 44 years...
Civil War? Well, yeah, right, it really began with Civil War and Spider-Man revealing his identity on national television. JQ has said no way they would have done that if One More Day hadn't already been on the menu.
But then what about Sins Past? Well to be fair, we can't count that train wreck of a story...
The Other? Organic webshooters? Ezekiel and Morlun? The Byrne reboot? The death of Aunt May? (Which one?) The Scarlet Spider? The Clone Saga? (Which one? All of 'em?) The alien costume? That time when he had, what, four secret identities? The effin' Spider-Mobile?
Boy, Spider-Man has sucked for a while now, hasn't he?
Well, we can still celebrate nine years of great storytelling from Lee, Ditko and Romita Sr, who...
Now just wait a cotton-pickin' minute. You're saying... You're saying that Spider-Man hasn't had a really good story since 1971? That's... that's crazy talk. You can't just, just retcon 36 years of continuity away! That's a hell of a way to treat your bread-and-butter flagship character! I mean, only a total loon would...
What?
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