Sunday, March 25, 2012

"This is an Imaginary Story... Aren't they all?"

Slay, Monstrobot of the Deep!!: Obviously, Too Much Alfredo Before Bedtime...
It's too bad that DC doesn't do Elsewhere stories anymore (unless, of course, you consider the whole nu52 an Elseworlds story...)
That would be wonderful news.

I've been thinking of it as Heroes Reborn Part II. You know, because it worked so well the first time. The same Usual Gang of Idiots were largely responsible for both.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Under the Moons of Mars

Why 'John Carter' Is Loads Of Fun & You Should Ignore Cynics Who Can't Have Fun At Movies - Forbes

I'm so disappointed.

Not in the movie. "John Carter" may be the best film translation of an Edgar Rice Burroughs book ever. (But after nearly a century of "Me Tarzan, you Jane, me name son Boy because me cannot spell 'elephant'", I guess that's not saying a lot.) I've read the books, I've re-read them recently, and almost everything that's up there on the screen is in the books. Some of it isn't in the same order it is in the books, but it's there. And the little that is different improves on the books.

I loved "John Carter". I loved Woola rocketing around the Martian landscape. I loved the complexity of Sola, the Thark woman who "adopts" Carter. I loved Tars Tarkas Gibbs-slapping Carter on the back of the head. I loved "I told you he could jump!"

I loved that the first time we see Dejah Thoris, she's wearing the Barsoomian equivalent of a white lab coat, because she's a scientist. No, it isn't a white lab coat... but it is. It obviously is.

I loved Carter leaping to catch Dejah Thoris as she fell from a Martian flyer. I loved the Martian flyers! I loved the cruel Jeddak Tal Hajus, watching one gigantic white ape mop the floor with Carter,  boredly commanding, "Free the other one." I loved the "Oh, give me a break" expression on Carter's face when he sees the second ape.

More. Too much. I'm running on. I loved this movie. It was exactly what a John Carter of Mars movie should be.

So why am I disappointed? Because the assembled brain trust of movie critics determined, long before March 9, that this movie was a flop, a disappointment, a money sink of ishtaric proportions. And because that was the story they wanted to tell -- and because the mighty Disney marketing machine didn't have a clue how to sell this story -- that's the story it became. "A Princess of Mars", that's the name of the book, that should have been the name of the movie.

Go see this movie. If you think the critics might know better than me, save money and go to a cheap 2-D matinee. But go, while you still can.

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Nu52: Now with 90% less context

No, Princess, he wasn't just touching your lasso.
He was grabbing your ass. And you let him.
C'mon, how did he get his hand between your lasso and your hip?
Ladies and gentlemen, Hal Jordan!

I'm really loving Comics Alliance's Point/Counterpoint on the new Justice League, even if I'm not sure which is which.
Point/Counterpoint: 'Justice League' Is Everything Wrong With Comics: "[Darkseid] does nothing but show up, say his name, and then trade punches until this stupid story runs out of pages."
Yep, that's about it.
Point/Counterpoint: 'Justice League' Shines with Strong Characters: "In the first arc of the comic, Batman, Green Lantern, Superman, Flash, Wonder Woman, Aquaman and Cyborg join together to fight an invasion from Apokolips, during which Darkseid shows up personally. Batman finds out from Steppenwolf and Desaad that Darkseid is looking for his daughter, who is apparently on Earth. And in terms of the overall plot of the arc... that's about everything that happens."
And that's your defense? That we're hip-deep in Character Revelation that has nothing to do with the story? Six issues of arc get a 50-word synopsis, and you're OK with that?

Although, actually, he got more out of it than I did. I totally missed the Darkseid's daughter thing (a thrown-away line of dialog dismissing a macguffin who's never seen or named).

Where's my copy of New Frontier? At least that takes more than five minutes to read.

Saturday, March 10, 2012

There's plenty of Batgirls, but only one Oracle

Patron Goddess by ~kit-kit-kit
This is why you want to be very cautious when you go eliminating a character from continuity. You never know when someone is going to come along and do something really awesome with her that you didn't see coming.

Friday, March 02, 2012

"We're not a team, and we're not friends either."

Justice League #6
That was a conclusion? (Spoilers ahoy.)

They don't know who or what Darkseid actually is. They don't know why he's interested in earth. They don't know what he or his Parademons were trying to do. Except for Superman (who somehow learns it while being tortured), they don't even know his name -- until he says it himself, for no apparent reason.

They think they've destroyed all the local Mother Boxes, and that Darkseid therefore can't come back to earth for a long time. This makes about as much sense as Mr Mxyzptlk being tricked into saying his name backwards.

It reminds me of Jean-Luc Picard's first encounter with the Borg, which ends when Q decides he's bored and takes the Enterprise back out of Borg space -- where he put it in the first place.

The Justice League isn't calling itself the Justice League. They clearly don't want to travel together, until Batman points out that if they play nice with others, maybe it'll confuse the police enough that they will stop trying to arrest them.

And I haven't mentioned the art yet, which is so cluttered and detailed that I can't figure out what I'm looking at, or supposed to be looking at.

And Pandora is... oh, never mind. When she was a mystery, she was interesting. Now we've seen every seam on her costume, and we've seen her tattoos, and we know that she's Nu52's Uatu the Watcher, observing us but forbidden to act... Bored now.

Unsatisfying. We'll see if it grows on me. In the meantime, I'll wait hopefully for the real Justice League to come back from multiversal purgatory and kick these pretenders' asses.

Heck, these guys will do.