Saturday, January 26, 2008

Shirtless Saturday - Hank & Jan

Say hello to Janet Van Dyne and Hank Pym in happier times. Just another couple in love that couldn't leave well enough alone.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Shirtless Saturday - Forager

Presenting the luckiest man on Earth-1, Jimmy Olsen, with his new friend, Forager. I'm not exactly sure what that is protecting Forager's modesty, there. Perhaps it's Wonder Twin Jan (or is it Zayna?) in an unbilled cameo.

Isn't it funny how Terrans wear more clothes than anyone else in the cosmos? Sometimes it seems that every even-numbered alien planet or dimension is peopled by unrealistically hot babes with no nudity taboos. Apparently even Apokolips is no exception. Does it make you wonder what's under Darkseid's armor?

And we haven't seen half of the DCU's 52 universes yet. Hmm. In a world where no one wears anything, do superheroes still wear spandex?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

No rest for the weary

Countdown to Final Crisis 17"Paging Booster Gold and 'Rip Hunter'... Cleanup on aisle 51... Cleanup on aisle 51..."

I realize there are supposed to be subtle (and sometimes not-so-subtle) differences between the 52 'verses, but I'm beginning to think that the Monitors are right. The fabric of space and time is less stable for being split in 52 than it would be if there were only one.

Have you noticed that the superheroes not originating on New Earth are a lot easier to kill than their 'analogs' used to be?

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Well, that was unexpected

Which Power Ring would come to you?

You have the ability to instill great love in others.Welcome to the Star Sapphire Corps. Your mission will be explained in detail following your teleportation to sector 1416 and training by the head of our corps, the Zamarons.
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I'm thinking the costume would make my butt look big. Do you have anything in a bowling shirt / bermuda shorts ensemble?

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

On the streets of Blogopolis

I really need to get away from the death of Peter Parker before it threatens to consume me like...well, like a consumable thing that's been consumed. First, a new red-blue-yellow color scheme, in honor of comic' four-color roots (which, since this was a rush dye job, the roots remain black, the fourth color, get it? Get it?).

There must be some other burning (ha! I kill me) questions that need addressing. Or burning. Or something.

For instance, does Superman poo? When John Byrne rebooted him, he addressed it specifically: No, he doesn't. The exact mechanism by which he doesn't, though, doesn't really withstand close examination, which is a phrase that makes me uneasy coming this close to Super-poop.

As Ranma 1/2's creator said when asked what would happen if the gender-switching martial artist got pregnant: "I try not to think about things like that...and you shouldn't either."

Many of's lists are entertaining, but many of them are flawed. Their 10 Best Animated Movies for (Traumatizing) Kids is more about traumatizing adults than kids, really. But some of them I get. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, because Batman, ultimately, loses: That I get. The Incredibles, because some of the bad guys actually die? Not so much.

Watership Down I really get. Those damn bunnies are terrifying.

Scipio of The Absorbascon asks, What are the anachronisms and anachronoslides* that bother you most in your comics, and what would you do to remedy them? (* An "anachronoslide" is an historical reference that wasn't an anachronism when the comic was published, but becomes one later as the character's lifeline "slides" forward to keep him at a constant age in his "current" adventures.)

This is a great question, and I've got a number of "favorites" (if I don't "overdose" on "quotation marks" first), but first I have to consider this: This is the kind of question that only comes up in comic books. Nobody ever asks why Daniel Craig is so young when the character he's portraying first appeared in 1952. But I guess a septugenarian James Bond might be iffy. (Or not. Sean Connery is 77 years old, and still quite fit.)

(See, if James Bond were a comic book, we'd be reading about a perky blonde who might or might not be his granddaughter, named Jasmine "Jazzy" Bond. The "Danger Girl" people are missing a bet.)

Oh, look, the Miracleman Countdown Clock, indicating that the final published issue of Alan Moore's / Neil Gaiman's "Miracleman" will enter the public domain in 2089. Which is probably still sooner than those who are currently fighting over the rights to the character will settle the question.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

Wallopin' Websnappers!

Perhaps the headline doesn't lend the event the dignity it deserves. But let us not weep over the not-a-hoax not-a-dream death of Peter Parker in Amazing Spider-Man #545.

Instead, let us celebrate 45 years of great storytelling featuring everyone's favorite Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man...

Well, we can't in good conscience include One More Day, can we? Okay, that still leaves 44 and a half years of...

What? Oh, yeah. The story began with Back in Black, didn't it? Still, 44 years...

Civil War? Well, yeah, right, it really began with Civil War and Spider-Man revealing his identity on national television. JQ has said no way they would have done that if One More Day hadn't already been on the menu.

But then what about Sins Past? Well to be fair, we can't count that train wreck of a story...

The Other? Organic webshooters? Ezekiel and Morlun? The Byrne reboot? The death of Aunt May? (Which one?) The Scarlet Spider? The Clone Saga? (Which one? All of 'em?) The alien costume? That time when he had, what, four secret identities? The effin' Spider-Mobile?

Boy, Spider-Man has sucked for a while now, hasn't he?

Well, we can still celebrate nine years of great storytelling from Lee, Ditko and Romita Sr, who...

Now just wait a cotton-pickin' minute. You're saying... You're saying that Spider-Man hasn't had a really good story since 1971? That's... that's crazy talk. You can't just, just retcon 36 years of continuity away! That's a hell of a way to treat your bread-and-butter flagship character! I mean, only a total loon would...