Grandpa Geek

Exclusive Preview: Retelling Superman's Origin Story in Action Comics No. 5 | GeekDad | Wired.com: I have been reading comics for a couple of decades, starting with The Death of Superman. Since then, I’ve gone back and read older stories from the ’80s and before.

Oh, dear. When you talk to me about the Death of Superman, my first thought is the one from 1961. I actually have to search my memory to find another one, and even then I mentally stumble across his near-death from Virus X (the one where he revealed his secret identity by writing it on the surface of the moon) before I remember so-called Doomsday.

I forget my classics aren't everyone's classics, you know?

Then I hit this breathless praise:

This is the first time the DC new universe version has been told, and who better to tell this not-so-secret origin than superstar writer Grant Morrison and his equally super (see the pattern?) art team of Andy Kubert and Jesse Delperdang? Morrison has been steadily fleshing out the character’s beginnings since he first came on board with the Action Comics relaunch debut.

Yeah, I see what you did there. Sigh.

Superman's been around since 1938. In 1948 he finally learned the details of his own origin, that he is the last (or so he thought) survivor of another planet, known as Krypton. (We readers knew, but he didn't.) Between and since, there's been plenty of "fleshing out the character's beginnings", and just because Didio and Lee write pretty press releases doesn't mean it didn't happen.

Even Alan Moore remembered Lyla Lerrol when Superman Annual #11 ("For The Man Who Has Everything", 1985) came around, but I guess that's before your time too, isn't it?

Okay, I'm being unfair. I shouldn't dismiss a retelling of the origin story before I've actually read it: Goodness knows I've read several retellings of it already, and some of them I really liked. But the hyperbolic "nobody but Grant Morrison could have done this" really grates on my nerves. I can't think even Morrison would agree with such praise.

She loves me like a rock

I don't care if it is the dumbest disguise ever, my Momma says it's good. See Mike Draw.

Living on borrowed ideas

Newsarama.com : DIDIO: CHALLENGERS Return Reinforces New DC Approach"It's actually very grounded in reality because it starts off as a reality TV show," DiDio said.

He said this with a straight face? He thinks "reality TV" actually reflects reality? Sometimes it's easy to see DiDio started in television writing and showrunning.

I really want to like the new Challengers. If Jerry Ordway is involved, it won't completely suck. And Ordway says this:

Without the luxury of an open ended run, our focus is narrowed, and there has to be some resolution as well.

Well, now, there's a new and different idea. A story with a beginning, a middle, and an end. Imagine that.

Farewell, My Rubbery

He wears swim fins over his
super-hero boots?
And he leaves his wife alone on
the boat? Ralph, I think you're
missing the point of this
"honeymoon" thing.

So, there may or may not be a creative embargo on the "world-famous" Elongated Man.

I can't get too bothered over the lack of plans for an action figure: There have been several EM figures over the years, none very satisfying. As paradoxical as it may seem, even an invisible Invisible Woman is easier to render in plastic than a hero meant to look plastic. In all fairness, Plastic Man and Reed Richards figures look just as stiff and lifeless. Maybe, instead of using standard molded plastic, Mattel should look into the process used for bendy, pliable Gumby and Pokey. Or Stretch Armstrong.

Poor Ralph doesn't even have an iconic look anymore. Should they dress him in his original purple tights with removable mask? The maroon-and-black "satellite Justice League" look? The white-and-orchid "Justice League International" suit? Zombie Black Lantern Ralph?

DC clearly isn't interested in building his stock by actually using the character, and hasn't been for at least a decade, since the popular-but-apparently-embarrassing Formerly Known as the Justice League, which itself was a revival. When Grant Morrison was making an Iconic Justice League and needed a stretchy guy, he went with Plastic Man. Ralph and Sue were on DC's "death list" at the time of Identity Crisis. For all that he stole every scene he was in, he wasn't central to the story. The world's second-greatest detective never really tried to solve the only mystery that ever really mattered to him. Even Sue, so cruelly treated by Jean Loring and Dr Light, was only a macguffin. (I don't think DC yet 'gets' how offensive it was for Sue to be raped by Dr Light for no better reason than to be a red herring distraction to the mystery of her own murder.) Ralph's own subsequent death in 52 and brief zombie resurrection in Blackest Light were little more than afterthoughts. And the Dibnys' even briefer appearances as ghost detectives in The Outsiders, well, that was just twisting the knife for this longtime fan.

And the "New 52"... I mean, seriously, in which of these series would Ralph fit? When they were trolling for members for the new Justice League International, it was Plastic Man whose name came up. He was dismissed, but at least he was considered. Where's Ralph? (Do I sound bitter?)

So I get it, DC. You could bring them back, you just don't want to. Julius Schwartz said he'd never have created the Elongated Man if he had known DC owned Plastic Man. That's that.

Tell you what. Just print that blasted Showcase Presents The Elongated Man Volume 2 and I'll buy the thing and stop bothering you.

Taste the rainbow

I really want to like the new Green Lantern animated series. I had hoped to see more of Hal Jordan and his "civilian" supporting cast, which I thought would be possible with a series focusing on one character.

However, DC Animation obviously feels that teams are what pays the rent these days. That, and a desire to attract younger viewers, would be why they chose a hero who comes with 3599 dressalike teammates and a full spectrum of color-coded bad guys. We only meet three Red Lanterns in this episode, but you know the other colors have to be in the wings. And any Green Lantern series that doesn't include Star Sapphire should turn in its power rings.

Another decision I'm not crazy about was to pull a Star Trek Voyager on Hal and Kilowog, stranding them 18 months'  travel time back to Oa at whatever the ring's top speed is, vs 9+ months to repair the warp drive: Either way, It guarantees we won't be seeing any familiar faces unless their backstories are significantly rewritten. Or unless the Guardians had more than one of those experimental starships.

But it does cut down on the number of dressalike teammates we're likely to encounter. And I liked Batman: Brave and the Bold. So maybe this could work. I found myself liking this man, this Hal Jordan who seduces an AI navigational system. Hal, have you met Jim Kirk? I'll bet you would get along famously. Kilowog sure isn't Spock, though.

Actually, characterization is pretty consistent with the comics, as I've come to expect with Timm/Dini DC shows. There's a reason these comic books have lasted as long as they have, and the producers have wisely chosen to keep a lot of it.

Which still leaves two really big problems. One, SPOILER ALERT, is the fact that the Big Damn Green Heroes... lose. This setup wasn't content to put Hal and Kilowog umpteen kessel runs away from anything familiar: We spent an hour (less interminable commercials) getting invested in our three ringslingers and drumming up a serviceable bit of "how are they going to get out of this one", only to discover that they don't get out of it. Another Green Lantern dead, and the planet he rode in on destroyed. Most of the people were relocated successfully, including our casualty's wife and child, on a completely new planet with nothing but the shirts on their backs. I mean, thanks for not letting us all die, but you couldn't have just moved the bomb? There's a lot of unapologetic onscreen death and destruction in Green Lantern.

The other really big problem is CG animation. I was hoping that once I saw it in extended action, it would grow on me. It didn't: I felt like I was watching someone play a video game. Give me old-fashioned hand-drawn cel animation every time.

I wish I'd said that

Ralph Dibny, the World-Famous Elongated Man:
An ear -- In the Fireplace!: Reviewing "Ten Miles to Nowhere!"
To me, this is one of the greatest Elongated Man stories. Yes, it has some silly, far too coincidental aspects, but there's a lot of great characterization. I believe that Ralph was one of the earliest heroes to develop a personality (back then, heroes used to be distinguished just by uniform, hair color and powers).

Yeah, that and Carmine Infantino made Sue Dearbon Dibny so doggoned cute, and Ralph just the right blend of handsome and goofy.

Youthification

The suddenly-svelte Amanda Waller in Suicide Squad gets all the attention, but she's not alone. Commissioner Gordon in Detective is looking distinctly Year One-ish, with vivid red hair: How long has this been going on?

And how about that bat-family portrait in Batman? See how much shorter and slimmer Dick Grayson is? How could he possibly have passed for Batman for the last year-plus?

What about Perry White in Superman? Heck, what about Morgan Edge, who's been not only youthified, but apparently Samuel-L-Jacksonified?

They told us up front they were going for a younger, less experienced DCU: I don't know why anyone should be surprised by what we're seeing in the books.

On the other hand, I'm not sure who they thought would see it as necessarily an improvement, either.

Let's just call it what it is. The DCU hasn't absorbed the Wildstorm universe: It's the other way around.

Compare and Contrast

Remington Steele: NBC television, 1982-1987. After four years of romantic tension between the male and female leads, the producers have the characters get married. The show dies after six more episodes, partly due to failing ratings (and partly, it must be noted, because NBC programming preferred Hunter and scheduled it in Steele's time slot).

Moonlighting: ABC television, 1985-1989. After two and a half years of romantic tension between the male and female leads, the producers (and the characters) yielded to temptation. The show's ratings took an immediate nosedive (aggravated by the stars' lengthy absences, Cybill Shepherd to have a baby, Bruce Willis to make Die Hard) and never recovered.

Catwoman: DC comics, 2011. After seventy-one years of romantic tension (off and on, mostly off through the height of the "seduction of the innocent" scare and the Comics Code) and endless did-they didn't-they hints and parallel-world cheats, Batman and Catwoman have undeniable on-panel sex in the rebooted issue #1.

In a similar vein: If you loved Starfire on Cartoon Network's Teen Titans, you'll hate her in Red Hood and the Outlaws.

Shortpacked! by David Willis - Math

Flusssshhhhhh

Last month I told you that, for no reason I could easily articulate, New Avengers #15 caught my eye. I told you how moved I was by the heroism of Squirrel Girl, and I expressed my hope that she wasn't being set up to die in the siege on Avengers Mansion.

Well, [SPOILERS], she wasn't, but what happened was worse. Bendis apparently lost interest in the story: That's really the only explanation I can come up with. The locked-down mansion that resisted the full-out attack of a team of Nazibots? Daredevil blew the front door off its hinges (something the Nazibots were apparently unable to do), then heroically led SG and baby Cage into the basement. (Did they not tell SG there was a basement?)

Cut to later, when the family Cage rewarded DD for knowing where the basement was by offering him an Avengers ID card. What happened to the Nazibots? "Well, we ain't goose-stepping, so I guess it worked out." That's a direct quote, and that's all the explanation we got. I guess they didn't finish bringing down Avengers mansion, since that job gets done over in New Avengers Annual #1 (also on sale this week) as a result of a completely unrelated siege. Does Marvel not have editors?

So after an issue to show us what a formidable threat Squirrel Girl actually is, her bacon gets saved off panel... by Daredevil? This goes far beyond unsatisfying, into the realm of downright insulting.

So far, so good

DC's New 52 is a decent collection of comics. Not everything is award material, but then only DC editorial may have thought it might be. But mostly it doesn't suck. I've already spoken about Justice League and the fundamentally wrong-headed idea of issuing it first. (Team-ups are something you build up to, not something you lead with.)

Week two gives us thirteen more titles. These are not detailed reviews, just hit 'em fast and move on first impressions.

Action Comics: Since I haven't drunk DC's kool-aid, I'm not predisposed to nominate Grant Morrison for sainthood for deigning to write Superman. Philosophically, though, I do like the approach. It is actually fun, as a comic named Action should be.

Animal Man: You can tell they like Morrison around here.

Batgirl: I'd almost rather The Killing Joke be written out of continuity than see Barbara freeze in a crisis because of flashbacks to it.

Batwing: Even in-story, marketing is the reason this character is wearing a bat. Have you no shame? (At least he isn't being called the Black Bat, which must have been tempting.)

Detective Comics: Ew. Thanks for reminding me why I stopped reading Batman. Is there supposed to be any detecting going on around here?

Green Arrow: When Green Arrow is a better Batman book than Detective, you're in trouble.

Hawk and Dove: Why does this look like an unused (with good reason) inventory story from 24 years ago?

Justice League International: Why does the Hall of Justice even exist? Why are we getting Justice League spinoff titles before the actual Justice League title begins telling contemporary stories? The book is counting on us already knowing and liking these characters: I thought this was supposed to be an All New DC Universe?

Men of War: Wow, real continuity. This isn't Frank Rock, who still served in WWII.

OMAC: Finally someone remembers OMAC is a Kirby concept. Surprisingly good.

Static Shock: Skimmed it. Found nothing that demanded a closer look.

Stormwatch: Week two of The New 52, and already we're getting footnoted flash-forwards to books that haven't been published yet. DC Editorial, this is a Calendar; Calendar, DC Editorial. Get to know each other, will you? Characters I don't know are introducing themselves clumsily and giving me no reason to like them. J'onn J'onzz' presence just looks intended to manipulate me into buying the damn book. Interesting how they mention his Justice League roots here, but not in Justice League or Justice League International. If they don't think he can carry his own book, why do they think he's going to lead me into Wildstorm? I think I'll start calling him "the Martian Moses."

Swamp Thing: Alec Holland and Superman stand around and talk. *Yawn*.